Turkeys Don't Growl Do They?
by BTR'slovesong
Summary: ...And other silly, crazy, heartwarming turkey day tales. HAPPY THANKSGIVING LOVELIES


**A/N Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Turkeys seriously creep me out. Thus, this was born. Look out for typos, no time to read through and fix any that might be there!**

**Summary: Every Thanksgiving since early childhood, Big Time Rush has spent at Grampa Knight's free-range turkey farm, and every year holds a story...**

**Nov. 21****st****, 2012**

_Gobble, gobble._

James froze, his ears perked nervously as if he were a kitten, his heart pounding in his chest. He held his breath in pure fear. It was close to him, but he couldn't see it because he was surrounded by a thick array of trees, after running into the forest to hide. Now, paranoia was getting the best of him, as twigs snapped and bushes rustled. He whipped around, sure that the… The demonic bird from _hell_ was sneaking up behind him. But nothing was there.

"Come on, you stupid bird!" James yelled, blinking furiously to rid the tears from his eyes. Was he seriously crying over a turkey? That was not very James Diamond of him. But he couldn't help it. He was terrified.

Again, soft yet high pitched gobbling could be heard somewhere near, but James couldn't place right where the nerve-grating sound was coming from. And then, he realized exactly where it was.

With a gulp, James slowly looked up to see the turkey up in a tree across from him, staring down at him with red eyes-ok, maybe they weren't red, but it seemed like it to him! The large bird let out a shrill gobble, looking like he was about to launch upon his newly found boy-band member dinner. James winced and put his hands above his head, screaming. But instead of a turkey jumping on his head and maiming him, a familiar small body smacked into him.

"James! There you are! What the hell are you doing out here?" Logan demanded, temporarily dazed by his run-in with James' solid body. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

James opened one eye to peer at Logan and pointed up at the tree, still protecting his head, so he looked pretty ridiculous. Logan rolled his eyes and looked at what James was pointing at. He gasped, startled and a little weirded out.

"Whoa! Turkeys climb trees?" Logan wondered.

"It's cuz he's demonic," James whispered.

Logan gave him an annoyed look. "Sure, James. Come on, Grampa Knight wants us back to the house to 'shuck some corn.'" Logan said the last bit in a silly hillbilly accent, making James chuckle. He wouldn't mind shucking corn if it meant escaping the evil turkey.

"Okay dude," James agreed, turning around. Logan led the way and as James followed, he could have sworn he heard the turkey growl at him like a vicious dog… But turkeys don't growl, do they?

**Nov 24****th****, 2009**

It was the night before Thanksgiving, and Kendall was on the verge of tears, flour smeared on his face and sweet potatoes stuck in his hair, not to mention the cranberry sauce staining his good clothes and the burnt and smashed turkey on the floor. How he ended up in this peculiar situation, was that his Mama and Grampa both came down with something earlier that day, something so icky that they called off Thanksgiving and promised him and Katie that they could order any pizza they could ever want. But Kendall wasn't about to let all the ingredients his mama bought go to waste! He wanted to surprise her and Grampa by making a huge, yummy meal all by himself. Well, 3 hours later and all it turned out to be was a great big, frustrating mess.

Holding back tears of defeat, Kendall grabbed the kitchen phone with his small, grubby hands and 3-way called his best friends, James, Carlos and Logan.

"Kendall! It's 3 AM," Logan was the first to answer with a big yawn.

Next, James' groggy voice came on the line. "Guys? What's going on? This better be good, you interrupted my beauty sleep."

"Shut up James, this is a crisis!" Kendall said.

"Ooh! Is it Thanksgiving yet? I'm hungry!" Carlos' strangely chipper voice came next.

"No, but if you don't hurry over, there will be no Thanksgiving!" Kendall said. Over the phone, three gasps of terror could be heard, and they hurried over to Grampa Knight's house, where Kendall told them the story.

"It looks like Thanksgiving threw up in here," Carlos noted, looking up at the ceiling when a glob of sweet potato landed on his head.

"You're a really bad cook," James pointed out, staring at the blackened, smoking turkey on the counter that had literally deflated. Kendall smacked his face against the counter, next to the turkey.

"I know!" Kendall wailed. "I just wanted a nice dinner for my family! I figured I was old enough to know how to cook dinner but I have no idea what I'm doing!"

"Calm down!" Logan said. "James, Carlos, you're on clean up duty."

"What?!" James and Carlos cried in unison, obviously unhappy about this.

"Just do it," Logan said. "Kendall, you're coming with me."

"Where?" Kendall asked, confused.

"To Walmart, the only place open where you can find a full and pre-cooked Thanksgiving dinner at 3 AM."

"But we don't know how to drive," Kendall said.

"I've taken a couple lessons and I have my permit," Logan said, grabbing Mrs. Knight's keys and holding them up. "It's illegal, but for the sake of Thanksgiving, I'll do it."

"Thanks Logan!" Kendall squealed, giving Logan such a huge hug that his legs were lifted off the ground.

Logan coughed and wheezed. "Okay, put me down now… Too tight!"

"Sorry," Kendall said sheepishly.

"Great, so Kendall and Logan get to play real life Gran Turismo while me and James get to clean up Thanksgiving vomit," Carlos said, poking the deflated turkey curiously.

"Hey, I'm pretty sure last year, we were the ones cleaning up your real vomit," Kendall teased. Carlos' cheeks turned the color of stewed tomatoes.

Kendall and Logan ended up rushing to Walmart and bought a huge pre-cooked meal and "prepared" it all morning while Carlos and James slept on the kitchen floor, having passed out mid-cleaning.

Jennifer and Grampa Knight, who felt much better after a good night's rest, were more than a little surprised to walk into the kitchen to find Kendall and Logan spreading whipped cream over a pumpkin pie together, dallops of whipped cream on their cute little noses. The table was set and decorated, and James and Carlos were sprawled out on the kitchen tile with dish rags in their hands.

"What's going on here?" Jennifer asked.

"Just the best Thanksgiving dinner ever!" Kendall chimed excitedly. Logan nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh my goodness, you boys! How sweet!" Jennifer cooed, taking the two boys into her arms. She started sniffing curiously.

"What's wrong, Mama?" Kendall asked.

"I just… Do I smell a burnt turkey?" She asked.

Logan's eyes went wide, and he glanced at the garbage can beside him, hidden from Jennifer's view, where the remnants of blackened turkey legs stuck up out of. He quickly and sneakily stuffed it down, while Kendall just laughed and pulled the new turkey out of the oven.

"What are you talking about? Turkey came out perfect!"

**Nov 22****nd****, 2008**

Like every other year since they were little boys, Kendall, Carlos, James and Logan were all settled inside Grampa Knight's cozy farmhouse, watching movies and playing board games as the adults bustled around the kitchen, fixing a huge Thanksgiving dinner.

The only difference was that Carlos, instead of running around the house pretending to be a wild turkey or sneaking pumpkin pie while the adults weren't looking, was lying listlessly on the couch in the same position he had been early that morning. He hadn't moved once in the past 4 hours, which was extremely unusual for the hyper little boy.

"Carlos? What's wrong?" Kendall finally asked after he declined a game of "Sorry," which was his favorite board game ever.

Carlos didn't even answer. He just curled up in a ball and buried his face into the couch cushions.

Kendall was about to call for his mom, worried for his friend now, but James stopped him.

"Ma-"

"Sssh," James hushed. "What are you doing?"

"I think something's wrong with Carlos," Kendall said. "He won't talk to move."

"I know, but they're all busy in the kitchen. Remember a few years ago when I was sick on Thanksgiving? Everyone was so busy freaking out over me, that they forgot to cook and nobody got to eat dinner. We're almost adults, we can take care of him."

"I don't know, James. He looks pretty awful to me," Kendall said, studying Carlos' pale complexion. The kid was definitely not okay, and he didn't have very much experience in taking care of people.

But from behind Kendall, Logan popped up, clad in a white coat, stethoscope, and doctor bag. Kendall looked Logan up and down, raising his bushy eyebrows.

"Logan, where did you get all that stuff?"

"What are you talking about? I always keep it with me," Logan said with a grin. He never had a complaint about getting to be a doctor for a day.

Carlos opened his eyes and groaned when he saw Logan in his doctor get-up. He was in for it now.

"I'm fine guys," he croaked pitifully. He really did not want to be an experiment for Logan today. He just wanted to sleep off whatever he came down with so he could participate in dinner.

"You're not fine, 'Litos," Logan said gently, sitting beside the younger boy. "Can you tell us what hurts?"

"My head and my tummy," Carlos admitted, rubbing his pudgy little belly with his hand.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Logan asked, running his fingertips along Carlos' spine. "You've looked unwell all day."

"I don't want to ruin Thanksgiving," Carlos said sadly. "It'll go away soon."

"I don't know buddy, I think you're running a fever," Logan said, feeling the warmth of his body through Carlos' shirt. He raised his hand to Carlos' forehead to find it burning up. "Oh my gosh, Carlos you're really hot."

"Maybe we should get Mama Knight," James said after realizing Carlos really was very sick. He needed a momma's touch, something him and the guys just couldn't provide. Carlos moaned in pain. James scooted under Carlos on the couch so that the sick boy's head was resting in his lap while Kendall ran to the kitchen.

"Mama! Carlos is really sick!" He announced, but the kitchen was empty. Half prepared food dishes littered the counters, along with a note in his mother's hand writing.

"_Grampa and I had some ingredients we needed to stop at the store for, be home in an hour or so! Be good!- Mom."_

Kendall let out an aggravated sigh. Now what? They couldn't take care of Carlos when he was this sick all by themselves!

Kendall trudged back to the living room, a lost and panic look etched on his face.

"What is it?" Logan asked, knowing immediately something was wrong.

"They went out to go shopping," Kendall announced. "We're on our own now."

"Crap," Logan muttered. He was reading Carlos' temperature with a thermometer now. "He has a fever of one-oh-one point two. I think you have the stomach flu, buddy. I don't think you'll be able to join us for Thanksgiving dinner, I hate to say it."

Carlos pouted, rubbing his eyes with a shaky hand. He was upset he would miss the Thanksgiving traditions he loved so much, but he didn't feel up to participating even if he wanted to. His stomach was a rolling, churning ball of pain right now and his head ached and ached and his body shivered. He could hardly even sit up. He just wanted to stay in James' lap for the rest of his life, or at least until he felt better.

"Well, if you can't join us in Thanksgiving, I'm not having Thanksgiving either," James said in a heroic voice, sacrificing his favorite meal of the year for his best friend.

"James, you don't have to do that…" Carlos said.

"Yeah man, do you realize what you're giving up?" Logan asked incredulously. "Pumpkin pie, Gramps famous turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing…"

James whimpered as his stomach growled, but Carlos whimpered because the sound of food only hurt his stomach.

"Please shut up Logie," Carlos said. Logan shrugged.

"Well no use in having Thanksgiving without half of my buds. I shall starve too," Logan said. Kendall groaned, hoping Logan wouldn't join with James.

"Fine, no Thanksgiving for me either. It's officially postponed until Carlos feels better," Kendall said. He actually felt pretty good about his decision. Carlos deserved to join them, and he could wait until he felt better to eat. He went to go snuggle down next to his friends, but Carlos rolled over, gagged once, and threw up all over the carpeting.

"Ugh, nasty dude," James said with a grimace, but he rubbed Carlos' back through it. Carlos burst into tears. While James comforted Carlos, Logan made quick work in cleaning the sick boy up and administering water and medicine to him and Kendall scrubbed the floors clean.

"Do you at least feel better?" James asked hopefully. Carlos just shook his head and buried his nose in James' neck.

"Poor guy," Logan said, watching Carlos moan and rub his stomach, his usually tan face a shade paler than it had been before. After everything was cleaned up and Carlos was in a fresh pair of jammies and covered in blankets, the boy all settled on the couch and watched a movie. Mrs. Knight came back home soon, grocery bags in her hands. She seemed suspicious that her boys were so quiet and still when they should have been running outdoors on the farm, shooting their skeet guns or playing football.

"Hi boys, is everything okay in here? Does is smell like throw up in here?" She asked, concerned.

"Carlos got sick, but he's okay," Logan whispered, patting the little boy's head. Carlos nodded sadly. "We gave him lots of water and medicine and his fever is under one hundred."

"Good job, baby," Mrs. Knight praised. Logan blushed. "Do you need anything, Carlitos?"

"Just some sleep," Carlos said sleepily, resting against James' broad chest.

"Okay sweetie. Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes boys," she announced.

"We're skipping Thanksgiving 'til Carlos' feels better. Sorry Mama K," James said. Mrs. Knight smiled and shared a knowing glance with Grampa Knight, who just stepped in. His old gray-green eyes twinkled.

"Well we sure will miss you boys," he said. The boys were surprised that the adults weren't upset, but they went on cooking their meal without a problem.

45 minutes passed, and Carlos was out like a light, snoring loudly on the couch, but his snores weren't half as loud as the rumbles in Logan, Kendall and James' bellies.

"I can't take it anymore, I'm too hungry," Kendall whined.

James groaned. "Just don't wake up Carlos! We need to eat something!"

The three boys felt like backstabbing, horrible people, but they tiptoed into the kitchen, where Mama K and Grampa Knight sat at the table, eating the large meal they had prepared.

"Hey boys," Mama K said with a smile. Their spots at the table were set with food-filled plates already. They all sighed thankfully and sat down in their seats and dug in. James seemed to remember something mid-bite and looked up at Mama K, his mouth full of mashed potatoes and turkey.

"Just don't tell Carlos!"

**Nov 25****th****, 2006**

Logan was 12 years old when he realized that shooting turkeys for his own enjoyment was wrong. Like any other year, he and the boys were hunting turkeys with Kendall's Grandpa, but this year was different, because when Grampa Knight shot a nice, fat, innocent, turkey, Logan began to wail for him to stop.

"Whoa, dude, what's your problem?" James asked, holding Logan by the shoulders. The tiny boy looked like he just watched his own parents die or something. Logan blushed, feeling incredibly stupid. He shrugged, looking away from the dead turkey in front of him the Grampa Knight was tying up to bring home.

"Nothing," Logan muttered, wiping his tears away frantically.

"No, something is wrong. Tell me," James said. Kendall was standing in front of Logan too now, as well as Carlos, and they were all watching him worriedly, wondering what was wrong with their sensitive friend.

"It's stupid," Logan said in a tiny voice, feeling pathetic right now.

"Nothing is stupid if it made you freak out like that," Kendall said.

"I just… I feel bad for the turkey. He was just minding his own business and we came along and killed him and his turkey family never even got to say goodbye."

Logan's friends just blinked. They were all typical men who thrived off the thrill of a hunt. They never even thought about the turkey having human emotions like that. It was kind of silly to them, honestly.

"Awe, Logan it's okay. The turkey understands," Kendall said, trying to comfort his friend, who was still crying over the dead turkey.

"Yeah, I'm sure turkeys realize by now after like… 300 years or whenever the pilgrims came that every year, they have to die so we can eat them," Carlos said. This did not make Logan feel any better. In fact, he ran away, crying even harder, and hid in his room the rest of the day, mourning the poor turkey's short, cruelly ended life. One thing he was sure of, he would never, ever eat turkey again! His friends tried everything to cheer him up and get him to understand that turkeys were just dumb birds who didn't know any better, and Logan even began to feel a bit better about the situation, but later that night, he had a horrific nightmare. The same turkey came back for him and snuck into his room and tied him up! Then, the vengeful turkey spirit dragged Logan back to its house and "defeathered" him by plucking out all his hair. Things only escalated, when the turkey decided he would stuff Logan and baste him with butter. Logan was a sobbing mess by now, apologizing over and over to the turkey, but the turkey just laughed with a gobble and shoved him into an oven, which was when the dream ended.

Logan sat up straight, a bundle of nerves and sweat and tears, repeating over and over that he was sorry.

"Logan! Wake up, you're having a bad dream!" Kendall said, crawling into bed with Logan and holding him to his chest.

"I don't want to be eaten!" Logan shrieked.

"Logan! Nobody is eating you, buddy. Wake up, okay?" Kendall soothed, stroking Logan's sweaty hair back. Logan blinked his eyes open, wide with fear and guilt. He leaned into Kendall's chest and cried.

"Kendall! The turkey, he came back for me! H-he ripped out all of my hair and h-he stuffed me!" Logan wailed.

Kendall stared at Logan. "Ugh! Oh my God dude," He said, grossed out and a little freaked by Logan's dream. Logan just nodded.

"I know Kendall, I know."

"Look, it was just a dream, and that turkey is just a turkey! Like we eat every year. Nobody was ever haunted by a turkey before. God made turkeys for us to eat on Thanksgiving. It's okay, buddy. If you don't want to eat turkey tomorrow, you don't have to," Kendall told Logan, tucking him back into bed. "Now go to sleep."

"Okay. Good night Kendall," Logan said. Kendall gave him a smile and ruffled his hair before heading back into his bed and falling asleep. Logan however, lay awake with guilt gnawing at his stomach for hours. He needed to make amends to this turkey. So, in the early dawn hours, he snuck out of bed and to the kitchen, where the plucked and beheaded turkey sat in the fridge.

"I'm so sorry little guy," Logan whispered. He pulled the turkey out of the fridge and wrapped it in an old sheet and carried the turkey to the garage, where he took a shovel. With the turkey and shovel in hand, he walked to the backyard and dug a small hole.

"Rest in peace," Logan said with a shiver. He was barefoot and jacketless and the November air was chilly, but he felt like a proper burial was the only way he'd feel okay about the turkey murder he had witnessed. He buried the turkey in dirt and ran back to his warm bedroom.

The next morning was Thanksgiving. Logan yawned and realized he was the last one awake, the other boys who slept with him in Grampa Knight's guest room were already downstairs. Groggily, Logan padded down the stairs of the cozy farmhouse and into the kitchen, where chaos was ensuing. Mrs. Knight was searching the cabinets and fridge left and right for the missing turkey. Logan stood there awkwardly, chewing on his lip.

"Gosh, it was right here last night!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed. "I must be going crazy. Logan, have you seen where I put our turkey, baby?" Mrs. Knight studied Logan's disheveled appearance. "Honey, why are you covered in dirt?"

**Nov. 28****th**** 2001**

"Well Kendall, it's your turn. What are you thankful for, honey?" Mrs. Knight asked, looking at her little blonde-headed boy with admiration in her eyes. Kendall thought for a moment and took a look around the table. Carlos, Kendall's craziest, fun-loving friend sat across from him, bouncing up and down his seat, black curls falling into his eyes as he eyed the turkey hungrily. Logan sat next to Kendall, of course. Sweet, tiny Logan was attached at the hip to the 7 year old and always needed to sit beside him no matter where they were. James, Kendall's best buddy ever, closest confidant and the one he trusted most in this world, sat on the other side of him. Next to Kendall's beloved mother and Grampa was itty bitty, pink-onesie clad Katie, with rosy cheeks and red lips and thin wisps of brown hair covering her small round head, cooing away at nothing in particular. Kendall loved this family with all his heart. Sure, he missed his daddy terribly, and this was the first Thanksgiving he spent without him, which made it very hard. But despite that, Kendall knew, even in his little 7-year-old heart, that he was the luckiest little boy in the world, and for all of this, he was thankful.

**A/N Thanks for reading! A review or few would make me happy! Which one was your favorite? Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! Love you guys!**


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